Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Regular Days

Looking at my last few posts, I laugh at how much fun it seems I'm having right now. And, don't get me wrong: all the things I posted (trips, family visits, dinner parties) have been fun, but they are also only the half of it. My actual day-to-day life is the rest of it, and right now it's kinda killing me. But, before I explain that, I have one more fun family day to post.

These pictures are from another great day we had in the last few weeks. It was a Saturday and we got to spend it at 31st street beach. It was still a tiny bit chilly but it was so sunny and clear that we had to get out and enjoy it.
We hit the playground...
and the beach...

...which is a great place to take the kids to build sandcastles, although the water is about 1000 degrees below zero still.

We ate giant chicken parmesian sandwiches at Freddies on the way home, and then, as we drove down Taylor street we realized that the Mario's was open for the season! Marios has the best Italian ice in the whole world, and a little one is only $1, so we each get whatever we want and then taste all of each other's flavors. Sam gets strawberry, Claire gets blue raspberry, and Matt and I get lemon, which is the best. So, all-in-all, it was a great day.

But, on the weekdays, when I'm not traveling or having house guests or what-not, I'm kinda struggling. My back is a disaster (I'm a chiropractic junky, but it's not really helping so far) and my 4 year old is a total and complete disaster. I discipline this child all day long every day it seems and Claire's life seems to be watching me/listening to me discipline Sam. I keep thinking that each day will be a new day and that somehow we'll make it better, but he seems to be getting worse! It's like he's just looking for trouble all the time right now, (but man do I love that kid).

Matt and I are so tired of the stress that we are at each other's throats pretty often, and then we feel bad for our breakdowns. Marriage counseling is usually just us apologizing for how we've talked rudely to each other, but it all stems from our individual/mutual frustrations with the constant discipline issues right now.

I continue to struggle with these doubts that I'm going to be able to pull this mothering/homeschooling thing off. I feel like I'm really struggling with our regular, around-the-house parts of life. I have these lofty aspirations for our time together, but then, when I can't live up to them in some way or another, I get so discouraged and anxious.

But then I keep being convicted about how seldom I truly pray about all of this. So, maybe that is where I need to focus my efforts. I've been reading a book called The God who Answers by Fire, (June Volk) and wow...that lady gets some answers to prayer. Maybe I should try that.


Robin said...

I know this won't help, but Toby's been driving us absolutely crazy lately too. I'm praying this is just a stage and not a complete transformation into a disobedient, whiney boy. With all the books out there, I agree with you, prayer is our best hope right now. So, God, work a miracle in our lives. Grant us patience and energy and please, please, please make our little men obey and be nice. Amen.

mimi said...

Hang in there...I know how straining and exhausting it can be. I've been there/done that..all that you mentioned. A strong will combined with an energetic boy can be tiring. I always tell myself..he/they could be strong leaders one day. All the things we want to change in our children...are great traits in adults.It's confusing. You are doing a fabulous job..loving him the way you do is the best!! Just babbling to let you know that someone out in blog land understands.