Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Now I remember why I hated pregnancy!

An old college friend who is living in Manhattan with her fancy shmancy husband just e-mailed me to tell me about her first pregnancy. She's about 9 weeks along. I laughed hysterically while reading this and then had to share it because it's worth a read and a good laugh. It is also a good reminder and great birth control for anyone who has glamorized their past pregnancies and is thinking that maybe it wasn't so bad afterall and that maybe it is time to have another one. She goes on and on, but this was my favorite part. So go take your birth control pill, (or take your basal temperature if you're a Natural Family Planner like me!) and then read on:

"I haven’t really told too many people because it all seems so uneventful at this point – we don’t know the gender and its only the size of a grape. Plus I am worried that I might have to see someone and holy shamoli am I a fat cow. I know you aren’t supposed to be gaining weight yet but I have never been so hungry in my life and well, my thighs and stomach are downright disgusting. Plus they itch. Isn’t it too early to be getting itching from stretch marks? I used to think I was kind of cute and sporty but today I realized that those years are just gone. I had on some exercise pants today – because those are the only thing that fit – and I thought some guy might have been checking me out until I looked down and saw that my pants were so tight that I had a serious front wedgy and he was checking that out. And if [our old friend from college] thought I had big boobs then, watch out now, they are the jiggliest largest balls of fat ever and they itch uncontrollably and I can’t stop eating French fries and I have zits. Was yours this bad?"

I loved "front wedgy" and "jiggliest largest balls of fat" the most. ;) Haha...

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